I’m going to have to pack my cape away for awhile; no more Super Woman for me until my body is healed. That means learning the meaning of the words “relax,” “do nothing,” “ask for help,” and “sorry, I can’t.” It also will include going to a part-time work schedule at school on M,W, and F. My HR person actually suggested it, saying that I probably came back to work too soon. But what was I supposed to do at home anyway? I’ve been reading like a mad woman, I think I’ve been winning the prize for taking the most cookbooks out of the library, and today I even borrowed the book, LOST – The Encyclopedia!! Forget picking weeds – thank goodness the house is spotless. But I do have to start packing up the things I’ll be shipping to New York. If I were in my 20’s, I’d sell absolutely everything and start completely over – sleep on a mattress on the floor, use crates for my clothes, but I’ve had a life that I can’t ignore. So, maybe on Tuesdays and Thursdays when I’m home relaxing my knee, I can slowly but surely start wrapping up the Tiffany wine glasses I received in 1974 when I married my first husband, and all the Jewish collectibles that my mother passed on to me – and possibly reassess the rest of what I think I “must” hold on to.
I have to admit that I am in a lot of pain on a daily basis; even when I sleep (which I don’t understand at all). Another way for me to look at this is that I’ve been working at some job or another since my senior year in high school – non-stop. Maybe I deserve this little respite before embarking on the next phase of my life. Perhaps the pain is needed for me to be able to gather up my thoughts, have plenty of time to send out letters and resumes for jobs, and to reflect.